Kourtney K. Talks About the Decision to Have Baby

Kourtney Kardashian is expecting her first child with on-again, off-again boyfriend Scott Disick, and tells PEOPLE how she made the decision to keep the baby.

"I definitely thought about it long and hard, about if I wanted to keep the baby or not, and I wasn't thinking about adoption," she said.

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"I do think every woman should have the right to do what they want, but I don't think it's talked through enough. I can't even tell you how many people just say, 'Oh, get an abortion.' Like it's not a big deal," she added.

Disick, for his part, has been supportive. The couple split after two years of dating last November, but got back together shortly after Kourtney found out she was pregnant.

"He wanted me to talk about it more, but I just kept to myself. He said, 'I really want you to keep it, but I will support you whatever you decide to do,'" she described of Scott's input.

Then the reality star turned to her friends for advice.

"I called my best friend crying, and I was like, 'I don't know what to do.' She said, 'Call your doctor, and at least find out the risks and stuff.'"

Then she took her search for answers to the Internet. "I looked online, and I was sitting on the bed hysterically crying, reading these stories of people who felt so guilty from having an abortion. I was reading these things of how many people are traumatized by it afterwards."

By then, her decision was made. "I was just sitting there crying, thinking, 'I can't do that.' And I felt in my body, this is meant to be. God does things for a reason, and I just felt like it was the right thing that was happening in my life."

"For me, all the reasons why I wouldn't keep the baby were so selfish: It wasn't like I was raped, it's not like I'm 16. I'm 30 years old, I make my own money, I support myself, I can afford to have a baby. And I am with someone who I love, and have been with for a long time."